Looking back, I see that my last school-related journal entry is much older than I’d previously thought. A lot has happened on that front since then, and I plan to present it in chunks for easier digestion. If I may tease the audience for a moment, though, I will say that my medical school application(s) are in great shape.
On a side note, I’m toying with switching publishing systems from Blogger to WordPress. If things look very different around here one day, that will be why.
Hmm, been a while since my last post.
I have about 10% of an essay completed about Kim’s reunion weekend over a month ago. I hope to finish it at some point, but we’ll just have to see. At the moment, I’m consumed with completing the first of my secondary applications. I suppose the downside to applying to 15 schools is that I will eventually have 15 secondaries to fill out, some of which have a number of short essay questions. It’s going to be a fun summer….
My future is now in the hands of another being. Last night, after triple-checking all of my work and making a 15th revision to my personal statement, I took a deep breath and submitted my AMCAS application. All of my transcripts have been received, so I expect the review process to be relatively quick. April MCAT scores haven’t been released yet, but they should be available by the time my application is ready for submission to my chosen schools.
Speaking of schools, I’ve got 15 on my list, all located between Philadelphia and Raleigh/Chapel Hill. I’m also applying to Weill, which is Cornell’s medical school in NYC. I fully expect to be dinged, but I had to do it for tradition’s sake. I don’t think alma mater plays much of a role in medical school decisions.
I’d like to say that my work is finally over, but I think it’s hardly begun. Between secondaries, interviews, and (hopefully) acceptances, I think the next few months are going to be seriously busy. Of course, if all of the schools on my list just read my undergrad transcript and reject me right away, it might be an easy summer. 
Why is writing so hard?
I mean good writing, not the kind of stuff that I usually publish here. I mean, I like to think that most of my blog articles are well written, but they’re not the kinds of things that get published or read critically by other people. Good writing takes a lot more time, and a lot more editing. Sadly, the more I edit my work, the less I tend to like it.
You may have guessed that I’m talking about my personal statement, and you’d be right. My first draft was just that. It was grammatically acceptable, but awkward in some spots; in was rough around the edges in terms of organization and content; and it was too long by a few lines. But it was mostly unadulterated thought translated to paper, and I think most of the people who read the first draft got that feeling from it. Every time I was faced with a creative writing task, I found that my best strategy was just to slit my literary wrists and let the ink bleed all over the page. The result — soggy, somewhat messy, and unfiltered — was often far better than anything that took more than an hour to write. In other words, you could say that consciousness gets in the way of my subconscious creativity.
The problem is that editing requires less emotion, less instinct, and more intellect. This is fine for fixing grammatical errors, typos, and other mechanical issues, but it’s an absolute nightmare for editing content. My revisions become more plastic, less expressive; it’s a bit like looking at a wax statue standing next to the real person. Stylistically, I can see the passage going from enthusiastic to forced.
Of course, editing is not optional. Few first drafts are complete enough or polished enough for submission. But how polished is too polished, and how do I strike a balance between the rational and the inspirational? I wish I knew. Until I figure it out, I’ve got to resort to re-writes. After getting some needed advice from a good friend, I tore apart the old statement and rebuilt it. Most of the parts are there, but they’ve been rearranged and rewritten to let my personality through again. I’m getting close to the deadline, but it’s worth the trouble. I only hope I don’t have to make too many edits.
First final is tomorrow, and I’m cramming. My only motivation: In 14 hours, I may have worked my very last physics problem, EVER. I have to say that I enjoy working through physics problems, but the subject as a whole is just incredibly boring to me. Which may explain why it’s taking me so long to cover all of the material. Sigh…
In other news, I’ve started to fill out my AMCAS profile, and my personal statement has been sent out to a select few for proofreading. I think I’m one or two quick revisions away from the final draft, which is somewhat comforting. A lot of people tell me that I’m a good writer…I’m not so sure about that. Writing is easy, but writing well is very difficult and I’m definitely out of practice. It’s one thing to be struck by inspiration, to let your thoughts spill through your fingers and onto whatever medium you happen to be using at the time. It’s an entirely different matter to make something coherent, concise, and interesting to more than one person.
There’s a lot more I want to say about that, but I need to get back to physics. 14 more hours…
Got home, grabbed dinner, bought a couple of CDs, and now I’m back home.
Reflections: It was rather calming, and kind of fitting, that I drove to Georgetown in the face of a gorgeous sunrise. I was the first one there; as a matter of fact, I beat the guy who was putting up the room assignments by ten minutes. We were checked in just before 8:00, and the first section started at 8:35. Lunch ended at 12:50, and we were done by 4:00. Towards the end, all of us were getting tired. I saw a lot of red eyes and yawns as the bio section wore on. The poor guy sitting next to me couldn’t stop sniffling when his head was tilted forward, which was most of the time. It drove me nuts but I’m sure he had a rougher time than I did. The only hiccup was that our proctors forgot to collect our admissions tickets until some of us had already made it outside. I drove home in some of the best weather we’ve had all year, singing along to U2 at the top of my lungs and coming home somewhat hoarse. It’s probably a good thing that I was alone.
For those keeping track (or who perhaps took the test themselves), I took form EM and essay booklet 61. In practice tests, I found absolutely no correlation between my impressions of a test section and my actual scroe. I’ve had “easy” sections with low scores, and “hard” sections with high scores, so I really can’t predict how well I did today. In general, though, the test was roughly as hard as the practice tests. I guess I’ll found out how I did when everyone else does, which is in roughly 60 days. I can try to make some predictions, though.
I took eight practice tests between February and last Thursday. The moving average of my raw percentages rose from 83% to about 88%, with actual values between 82.2% and 88.8%. Scaled scores ranged from 31 to 38, with a moving average going from 32 to about 36. My weakest section in February was biology, by a large margin; since then, my bio scores have risen to roughly equal the other two. The last three tests went 38-36-36. In the last test, answering one more question correctly in each of the science sections would’ve bumped my score by two. What does this all mean? It’s all speculative, of course, but I would safely predict that I scored at least a 35 today. I think anything between 36-38 is reasonable, and that 39 or 40 are both very possible. Anything above that would require luck. I’ve told myself to avoid revisiting any of the topics or questions for the next week, and to concentrate instead of my orgo exam (Monday) and physics exam (Friday).
No matter how it turns out, it’s done. And I highly doubt I did so poorly that I’ll need to take it again. That, by itself, is a huge relief.
The MCAT is tomorrow. I’ve certainly spent as much time as I can to prepare for it, while also doing my best to keep up with all of my classes. If my score comes close to the ones I’ve gotten in the most recent practice exams, I’ll be satisfied. I’ve spent most of today building confidence and convincing myself that I’ll meet my target score. It’s too bad that I can’t celebrate aftwards, since I have an orgo exam on Monday.
It’s time for bed. Wish me luck!
Ah, spring break. I desperately wish I could head south like a (stereo)typical undergrad and go nuts for a week. For some reason, this semester is turning out to be a lot harder than the last one. I wish I had more time to study during the week, but I’m not sure what that would get me; there seems to be a point beyond which my brain just shuts down for the day and refuses to work the way it should. I’d be fine with that if I could get everything done before that happens, but I can’t. As a result, I end up working until some very odd hours at a glacial pace, just to minimize the amount I fall behind.
So spring break gives me a chance to catch up and try to regain some control over the semester. I’ve got about a chapter and a half of physics and orgo to cover. The orgo exam next Monday gives me plenty of incentive to review everything we’ve covered so far, after which I’ll have four days to prepare for physics. Not too bad, except that I need to find the time to prepare for the MCAT.
Oh yeah, the MCAT…I don’t know what to think about it. Test day (4/16) is coming up, and I can’t say that I feel prepared at all. I feel reasonably secure in my physical sciences and verbal reasoning, and the writing sample should go pretty smoothly. That leaves biology. I’m really worried about bio. I feel like my first-semester bio class didn’t cover enough material for the test, and that it didn’t go into enough detail for some of the topics it did cover. That doesn’t help me very much with the questions that rely on outside knowledge. The passage-based questions are more doable, but I tend to get caught up in the passage or too excited/nervous to read my way clearly through it. I’ve read through passages just minutes after reviewing the related material, and I’m still getting a lot of questions wrong. I know this is just practice, but it’s disheartening. There are days when I’m just a step away from punching a hole through the nearest window.
I’m consoled, just a little bit, by the fact that this is all just practice. I still have enough time to reinforce the topics that give me problems. There’s also enough time for me to get accustomed to the passages and calm myself down enough to read them carefully. People also say that the bio section is getting more difficult every year, and that people who take advanced bio courses are at an advantage over the rest of us. While that won’t improve my score, perhaps I shouldn’t waste too much energy trying to ace it. Then again, my practice scores fall somewhere between dismal and marginal at the moment. The next few weeks ought to be very interesting, to be euphemistic.
Of course, test prep frustrations only combine with all of the other uncertainties and realities of the application process. I have no idea how much my undergrad record will affect my chances, and no one I ask can give me a positive or negative answer. Objectively, I obviously know that a higher undergrad GPA would be better. But how much worse is it that I have a subpar GPA from nearly six years ago? Will it matter at all? Will it absolutely preclude me from consideration at some schools? Even though I can’t do anything about the past, I can control the future a little bit. There are some interesting degree programs at Georgetown and other places that would probably help my admissions chances, but even there there’s confusion. Would it make any difference for this year, when admissions officers would only know that I’m enrolled? I wouldn’t have any grades to report until the next application cycle. And if my chances were fine without the program, then why should I spend $30k for something that isn’t necessary for med school admission? If I really should do it, then should I hold off on applying until next year? There are so many permutations, and some of them are much more expensive — both in time and money — than others. As with everything else about this process, I vacillate between feeling determined to succeed and feeling paralyzed by the odds. School work tends to lift my spirits, while MCAT prep tends to drive them down. Planning out my admissions strategy pushes me in either direction, or sometimes both.
…So anyway, I obviously have a lot on my plate this week. Aside from all the school work and test prep, I should begin to gather my other application materials. I also need to work on a personal statement, and it would be a good idea to line up some more faculty recommendations. Besides all of that, there are some things around the house that could use a little work. And with spring coming up, that list won’t be getting shorter.
Ah, spring break.
Huh. So I guess time flies even faster than I thought.
I need to make this one quick, since I still have a good amount of work left for tonight. Basically, I’m having a good time this semester but I’m extremely busy. Things weren’t helped by a few trips earlier in the year: Kim’s childhood friend, Maria, got married on 1/15, and I flew up to Detroit the following weekend for the auto show. More on that soon, I promise (I hope). As a result, I fell behind early, but I’ve worked my way back and now I’m on top of things. I’ve also registered for the April 16th MCAT, which is going to require more prep work than I’d originally thought. On top of that, I’m trying to find a way to volunteer some of my time in a clinical setting.
Wish I could be more detailed, but it’s time to hit the books again for a bit more. More later! Really!